Bumps in the road

We've been in Long Island now for just shy of a month and recently it has been a struggle for me. My struggle isn't a result of the work we are doing. I have found a new level of contentment working to return families to their homes after they have been displaced for so long. In reality my troubles seem trivial compared to the problems hurricane Sandy left in it's wake. Mostly I find myself struggling with the loss of freedom I once had to pick and choose who remains a fixture within my life. For the most part I have been connected to my team on a level I did not foresee since entering AmeriCorps NCCC but the dynamics have recently been altered. This shift has led to a rising desire to go back to a place where I can more easily escape to or be surrounded by the most important people in my life. 

As a "people person" I often feel the need to connect to those around me. I have yet to find a way to do that with my new teammate. How do you connect to someone who shuts off any civil avenue of communication? How do you stay hopeful without getting your hopes up? This is something I have had difficulty with for the majority of my life, believing in the potential of people rather than the reality of them. As difficult as this situation is I am sticking to my goal of restoring my faith in people. 

The last few years having been preparing me for situations like this, for the rewards and the struggles associated with a risk. Ultimately I came here to make an impact  and although this last week has been challenging my ability to keep that in the forefront as I navigate my way through the new form bumps on this journey. Like anything it's a process. I'm missing things at home. The knowledge that I'm going to have a nephew, the death of a family member, all of the little moment that are mixed in with the big ones. I'm make sacrifices to be here hoping desperately that all of it will be worth it, that it is worth it for those families who can sleep in there homes because of the things I did. So that's where I am on the road of my life. I'm somewhere between struggling to keep believing with a dangerous amount of hope that everything is going to be better soon.